Oh, yeah. College.

So I'm thinking, since I have only applied to ONE college so far, my first choice, San Francisco State University, what is going to happen if I don't get accepted? Will I stay at Highline another year? Will I work full-time, since I'll be 18? I really don't feel it's necessary for me to get an AA degree, but I would still like the security and comfort of knowing it's there.

What I really want to do is get a job at a big corporation like DC Shoes, I mean, I could move down to Vista, CA and try my luck. But I need capitol before I even do that! I would have to work my ass off saving for it, but then going through the whole finding a job thing and settling in, meeting new people, finding new social groups. It's just going to be so hard. I could try to get a job at Quicksilver and transfer later on to Vista, that sounds like a plan. But still, it's going to come down to the decision, work full-time with no further education or work part-time and balance school. The question then is, WHAT SCHOOL? Basically, my only options will be SFSU or HCC. It's pretty much coming up to the deadline of any other good university.

And I don't want to end up applying to UW, it's a great school and I'll know a lot of people there, but thats just the thing, I DON'T want to stay around a lot of the people here. There are a lot of great people, sure. The 'boys have been my family since elementary days and other great friends are around too. But I just need to get away from everything because all the negatives are outweighing the positives. Good friends will always be your friends and I'm sure we'll all still be in touch.

I know I can't stay in my comfort zone forever and if I ever want to have a career that I can really love, I'm going to need to step right out and do work to get it.

Man, who knew growing up would be so hard.