The Future Freaks Me Out

- Motion City Soundtrack.

Song = irrelevant. Title = very true.

Should I be afraid of not getting accepted to the ONE university I applied to? Of course I should, and I am. I'm sorry for writing about college so much, but it's pretty much the only thing I seriously worry about. It's not so much getting into college though that freaks me out, it's the whole "staying in Kent" thing. Kent is a great city, I've grown up here pretty much my entire life, but the thing about it here, is that it's so limited. Sure, there are a lot of big businesses around but I see the same people everywhere. I think it really sunk in when I recognized random people I didn't know and knew their routines. Give me some variety, please! I don't like a lot of the people I know around here and I don't want to be stuck with them my entire life. I want more.

Silly thoughts, but when it comes down to what I really want to be in life and why I want to go to college, it's pretty much just so I can get out of Kent. And once again, it's not the city I want to get away from, it's the routine. I've realized that not everybody was born to be a scholar. Not everybody has the attention span to read a textbook. Not everybody can memorize sequences, formulas, patterns, etc. in the way that school requires but some people, some people are just meant for different things. There are people who can cook five star meals but can't read a book, point being, if you're good at something, turn it around into a lifestyle. Turn your passions into professions. The biggest problem I have involving school, is that I focus so much on being happy. People all my life have told me stories of what their jobs were and how unhappy they were so they quit and changed careers. I want to be happy throughout my life and maybe thats a bad thing. It may be more meaningful, but then again it might limit my income. So, happiness or wealth? To be honest, I really want to be fucking rich. I could finally live life at random and by random, I mean doing things at pure whim for silly or no reason in particular! If I was rich, I would definitely live as a beach bum. Everyday, just sit on the beach doing nothing or everything in general. What a life.

I'm not asking to be the next 'Gates, just the path of a good, healthy, happy life.